Antes de declamar o poema, Ronnie explica o contexto do livro e fala sobre o Mr. Darcy interpretado por Colin Firth em Orgulho e Preconceito (1995) e em Bridget Jones.
“A DARCY BEFORE I DIE” © June 2007 Ronnie Taheny
In a world of expectations, of standards far too high,
I want a Mr Darcy before I die.
Dependable, capable, passionate and bright,
Intelligent and witty, athletic, erudite.
Someone of integrity, somewhat of a gent.
In a world of extraordinary men this one’s heaven-sent.
He has to be handsome, romantic and fetching
and he must have a character that’s done its own sketching.
Cos I want him fully rendered with a sense of humour dry.
You see, I want a Darcy before I die.
We can ask Eliza Bennet, we can ask that Bridgit too,
We could even squeeze the truth from Germaine Greer before we’re thro.
The competition’s fierce for we girls upon this earth
But surely there must be more than one Colin Firth.
So I’ve asked in Scandinavia where divorce rates are high
And I’ve asked sheilas DownUnder to this brutal reply;
“Blokes?! They’re all a bunch of bastards and we couldn’t give a shag —
cos every good one is taken, or married, or a fag.”
And I’ve asked them in Beirut where they’ve even slept around
From New York, to Rio and old London town.
But they don’t want Peter Allen, they don’t want a clown,
They don’t want another well-meaning letdown
With a beggar’s bowl of courage and a tincture of good sense,
A guy to bore the pants off us by sitting on the fence.
We want someone who’s challenging but underneath quite shy.
Seems we all want a Darcy before we die.
Who’s solid and stable with a quick and quirky mind.
Honest and able, considerate and kind.
Thoughtful and provoking but not into control,
Disciplined and driven, whose career’s not on the dole.
With no pride nor prejudice, no addictions as such.
Just loyal and mannerly — am I asking too much?
Cos it’s really got me baffled and it’s harder than I thought
I’m a girl with standards and these guys keep falling short.
It’s becoming quite a mystery, a pandemic and a trend,
but it makes me feel much better if I blame it all on men.
See, I don’t need a mirror, I don’t need to change at all-
Surely, it’s not me who’s ageing, anal, rigid or twee, intolerant and cynical…
Or frumpy in my thinking, a Cyclops who cannot score
No, that’s for all the other girls; I’ve heard their shit before.
See, I’ve done my homework and I know I’m pretty hot.
Surely, it’s not me who’s shrouded in self-delusion with one massive, personal blind spot.
So in this world of expectations and standards never too high
I deserve a Darcy before I die.
Dependable, capable, passionate and bright,
Intelligent and witty, athletic, erudite.
And all those other things I said before I really meant
In this room of extraordinary men surely one of you is 100%.
I don’t need to compromise and nothing less will do.
Cos guys, I’m looking for a Darcy; does he sound a bit like you?
***
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