I BLAME IT ALL ON JANE AUSTEN
I BLAME IT ALL ON JANE AUSTEN
IN HER FAMOUS NOVEL, ‘PRIDE AND PREJUDICE’
WHICH WE READ AS YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE GIRLS
THOSE MANY YEARS AGO
SHE TOLD OF THE TRAITS THAT
AN ‘ACCOMPLISHED LADY’ WAS EXPECTED TO HAVE –
‘A WOMAN MUST HAVE A THOROUGH KNOWLEDGE
OF MUSIC, SINGING, DRAWING, DANCING
AND MODERN LANGUAGES
TO DESERVE THE WORD’
‘ALL THIS SHE MUST POSSESS
TOGETHER WITH THE IMPROVEMENT OF HER MIND
BY EXTENSIVE READING’
SO I TOOK UP THE PIANO
AND PRACTISED EVERY DAY
(WELL EVERY SO OFTEN)
I SANG – IN THE SHOWER
I DREW – THE CURTAINS EVERY NIGHT
AND I DANCED – AT THE LOCAL DISCO
I READ EXTENSIVELY – ALL THE MAGAZINES IN THE DOCTOR’S WAITING ROOM
AND I SWORE EVERY NOW AND AGAIN – IF YOU’LL PARDON MY FRENCH !
BUT THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH
I STILL WASN’T ACCOMPLISHED
SO I TOOK UP WATERSKIING,
WINDSURFING AND SAILING,
MOUNTAIN BIKING AND SCUBA DIVING
BUT THAT WASN’T ENOUGH
SO I WENT TO YOGA CLASSES,
PRACTISED TAI CHI,
LIFTED WEIGHTS IN THE GYM
AND PLAYED SQUASH
STILL NOT ACCOMPLISHED ENOUGH
SO I LEARNED TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE,
JOINED A RIFLE AND PISTOL CLUB,
SHOT AT TARGETS
(AND HIT THEM SOMETIMES..)
TOOK UP LONG DISTANCE WALKING,
CLIMBED MOUNTAINS, WENT CROSS-COUNTRY SKIING,
TOOK UP PHOTOGRAPHY AND POETRY,
LEARNT JAPANESE
BUT IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH
SO I STAYED HOME
DID SOME DRAWING
PLAYED THE PIANO
SANG ALONG TO THE RADIO
DANCED ROUND THE ROOM
AND READ MY LIBRARY BOOKS
I BLAME IT ALL ON JANE AUSTEN…
Jane Austen Sociedade do Brasil 